Welcome. See life through the eyes of an American Igorot Writer. This blog has a wide range of inspirational topics relating with ethnic identity, assimilation, purpose, character and much more. Although much is centered around Igorots and Filipinos; many others will find its contents inspiring.
The human need for acceptance is so strong that it can manifest itself into an addiction. Some people will go through any length to feel accepted. Once the pleasure of acceptance is felt, some people will do what they can to maintain this feeling despite any negative consequences.
This is a story of an American-Igorots’ struggle with finding acceptance in the totally Caucasian world he grew up in. Somehow, he has been given the opportunity to see himself as a boy growing up. As he watches scenes of his youthful self growing up, a song finds its way into the picture. The name of the song is “Bad,” by the band U2. The lyrics come to life and magically become the man’s own words to his young-self:
“If you twist and turn away. If you tear yourself in two again. If I could, yes I would. If I could, I would. Let it go.”
The boy gets teased by white kids his age for having a flat and pudgy nose. They don’t know his ethnic background, but call him names like: chink, nip, pin head, zipper head, zero, gook and such. Pretty girls show no interest in him because he is different. This hurts him greatly.
He watches the boy do just that. He sees the boy abandoning his identity as an Igorot and before long, becomes disconnected from his true self. He continues to wish he could help the boy. . .
“If I could throw this lifeless lifeline to the wind. Leave this heart of clay. See you break, break away. Into the night. Through the rain. Into the half-light. Through the flame.”
Knowing the boy is about to take the wrong path in life, he wants so badly to steer the boy in the right direction . . .
“If I could through myself set your spirit free. I’d lead your heart away. See you break, break away. Into the light and to the day.”
The man wishes the boy knows what he knows. He knows not to be so influenced by society. He knows who he is. He is an Igorot, and most importantly a child of God. He knows real friends and loved ones will recognize this and false people will not. It took him many years to come to this discovery, and he doesn’t want the boy to wait so long to learn this. He wants the boy to wake up to this truth.
“To let it go! And so to find a way. I’m wide awake. I’m wide awake. Wide awake. I’m not sleeping, oh no, no, no.”
If only there were a way to get the boy to ask others who have gone through similar circumstances . . .
“If you should ask then maybe they’d tell you what I would say. True colors fly in blue and black. Blue silken sky and burning flag. Colors crash, collide in blood shot eyes.”
Oh, the man knows what he is going through. The boys’ struggles continue with him well into his young adult years. The plethora of feelings he sees rings a familiar bell . . .